WORLD AUTISM DAY - INDIAN MARRIAGES

When I visited my cousin brother 5 years back. I was excited to meet his son who was just 2 years old. I started to talk to him.(actual names changed)

"Hi Ashok, "How are you?"

(No response)

"Hey, I got this toy for you. Do you like it ?"

(No verbal response or signs)

I was bit surprised. For that age, you should atleast get a some sign language response. During my stay for 2 days, I saw that he just plays on his own. He doesn't act on any of the commands. He don't respond. He didn't act as a normal toddler. I asked to my cousin, he said "he is just 2 years and he will change when he grows?!. Also the difference in languages making him difficult to start talking.. ". That was his response.

After couple of years later, I read an article about Autism. I was really taken back by it and can correlate with my cousin son. I called my cousin immediately and talked to him about it. He then said,"Yes, we also came to know its a disorder named Autism. We are starting to see a theropist and trying to see what they can do".

This a true story and it is now more common in many families these days. As a father now, I can really feel the pain these parents go through. As a parent, we all except to play with our kids and see their cute smile and childish response for our child play. Thats not the case with these kids. The stories sometimes makes my heart cry. I don't know what to do other than pray to god.

Today, April 2nd is designated as World Autism day. I decided to post this blog to make it aware to as many people to help and pray for this kids. Here are some explanation.

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How many of you aware of Autism?

One in 150 kids has autism according to survey. It's not really a mental disorder as many think. It is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills.

What causes Autism?

There is no known single cause for autism, but it is generally accepted that it is caused by abnormalities in brain structure or function. Brain scans show differences in the shape and structure of the brain in children with autism versus neuro-typical children.Researchers are investigating a number of theories, including the link between heredity, genetics and medical problems. In many families, there appears to be a pattern of autism or related disabilities, further supporting a genetic basis to the disorder.

Early Signs of Austims:

Some signs to look for in the children in your life:

• Lack of or delay in spoken language
• Repetitive use of language and/or motor mannerisms (e.g., hand-flapping, twirling objects)
• Little or no eye contact
• Lack of interest in peer relationships
• Lack of spontaneous or make-believe play
• Persistent fixation on parts of objects


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Indian Marriages

In many sections of our country, there is a tradition to marry the close relatives like neice marrying her uncle or nephew marrying his aunt. According to some research, that may be one of the causes for Autism on kids of thos marriages because of the same blood and genetics mismatches. It is not proven 100%. But I feel that may be reason my cousin's son Autism. My cousin got married to his close uncle's daughter. Because of this one, I strongly opposed my late grandpa's proposal to marry my uncle's daughter.

These kinda of marriages might work out well most of the time but sometimes it creates complications not for us for the kids. I have seen many kinds in this kind of marriages just in my relatives circle. Why do we have to make our kids suffer?! Instead we can be precautionary and avoid this circumstance of putting a child to ill fate. That is cruel in my perspective.

Also I feel as educated we are as a country. We should strongly try to be aware of this medical conditions and try to educate parents, friends who has kids that are growing. An early dediction of this disorder can help great extent in way to rectify it.

I felt thankful to God for my son who is normal and we should be. So Please do take a moment to pray for these kids at this day. Just my kind and humble request.

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Toddlers Tantrum and Mantrams...

Parenting is an art involving tough act every moment.


I am sure many of you(parents) will agree to me 100%. Many of you know my Junior, Master Ashwin from previous blogs (Trick or Treat,PEEK-A-BOO:My Son, Me and Fun things...) He is closing in on his 2 year mark(3 more months). He is a busy Toddler and experimenting various tanturms upon us from his valise everyday. He is been handful especially to my wife. From the time he wakes up till he sleeps at night(except small nap in the afternoon), he is a busy bee keeping us in our toes all the time.

It made me to wonder how come our past generations (grandpa & grandma's) manage to give birth to 7-8 kids and that too in a row and able to handle them. Just take my parents, I have 4 uncles & 2 aunts in my father side and 5 aunt & 3 uncle in mother side. Thats reasonably good example for a biggie size family. That to most of uncle and aunts are pretty well settlement in their life. Thats a big accompliment by their parents.

It's amazing and I salute my grandpa's and grandma's anytime. I know there are lot of reasons it could have been possible those days but still as a parent its a tough tackle both mentally and financially. Take the current similar example in America. Americans are either this extreme or the other extreme. Some couples don't even kids till they die but some have 3-4 kids(one parent not talking about 2 parent). They just never bother to care about number of kids. Once its start, its just kept on coming. It doesn't matter whether they are wealthy enough or not. Somehow they manage to make it work.

Being a parent for just one kid itself is like too much to ask. I know some might come with an argument that kids these days are pretty smarter then old generation(including our generation) in all aspects which obviously makes things worse. I would have to agree to that. I guess its the gene.

As a parent (at works), we are learning everyday. Everyday something new pops up. I learnt that being a parent is a balance between being good, bad and ugly sometimes. You can't always be good because they tend to take you for granted after sometime and try to test our testrones going beyond their limits.

With my son, we are seeing a big change for the past 6-8 months? He started walking when we were just worrying about it. After that, he never stops for second and we are now thinking when will he stop running. He picks up things like Parrot and catch us off guard all the time repeating some words we accidently quote. He just tried to prounce his first word "THAQU" 3 months ago when I told him "Thank you" for bringing me back a ball. That was so cute and he just caught on it. Now he can speak lot more words pretty clear and everytime it makes us sparkle a smile. Thats all really good and cute until he take us to our extremes.

He now wants try playing my drums, work in my laptop like me, walk like me and talk like me. He is just a COPY CAT. Check out the video which I took like a month ago. He is the first to claim stairs before me and stands first to play drums everytime I go to do my practice. I have to wait until he is done for my turn. Otherwise there will be big tug of war starts. How is that?!

There is no more freedom of talk for us. I always have to think twice before I do anything or say anything. I am learning tips every day from the magazine "PARENTS" I subscribed just for this purpose to educate myself. I learnt that this is the age brain starts to develop and grasp things which will last untill they die. It's between 2-4, what they learn things stick with them has habit sticks for longtime to come. So I want to be very careful in implanting any bad things.Lets say for example "Fear factor". I don't want to teach him the fear of darkness by scaring or booing him to death. Thats what happened to me when I was kid and I still couldn't get over it.


Also at this time when the memory is developing, they have very shortterm memory. You need to keep repeating things which will finally get into their brain and stay. They just grow as a person who need to be repeated constantly which is sometimes irritating but we got to do it to get to their head.

Blogger Ranjini, one of my best blog friend is also my best advocate on this parenting topic.Whatever you learn from books and friends, praticals is always tough than theory right?! When he starts crying by throwing his tantrums for silly things that where he frustrates especially in the public place. I really don't know what to do. I understood, its might seem silly for us but for them its the way of getting things they wanted and desire to have as they can't talk to express their feelings. I tried to use the Mantra I learn by deviating his attention to something else. Some works but not always.

At times no Mantra will work other than the hand work if it goes beyong my limit. I can't stop other than hitting him which I don't want to make it has an habit. Thats bad for me and him. I feel bad what else is the option. My wife really don't like me spanking but she also don't know any other way at these situations.

I know there is always school of thoughts. one "Adi othavramathri annan thambi othavamathan" (Hitting helps better than siblings" and other one, "Pat the back and get the work done". You know the 2nd rule doesn't work all the time.

Here is another video with his act just taken lastweek. Trying to help me when I was working on my front garden.

As first time parent, we are experiencing this parenthood in a really mixed feeling. I am sure having lot of fun with my son but at the same whenever I get pushed to an extent by testing the patience and streching our nerves, its really hard to control our anger. We are trying out different methods like Time out (famous in US) by asking him sit alone and try to stop crying. He picked that up pretty quick and starts to obey it.

We know this is a stage and it has to pass on until that time we have to struggle as a parent and at the same time enjoy cute things without worrying much about the Tantrums but keep abrust with our Mantras which might come handy.

I always welcome any constructive critisium on this topic and happy to take any new techniques(mantras).


Check my other blogsite on Money at www.moneyreallymatters.com

Whats up with Gold?

Gold is one of the precious metal never lost value for all these years, I should say centuries. It's been the craze of human race from the day it was found. This yellow metal always retained its magnetic power to attract both men or women. It's metal for one reason Britains stepped their foot into India to capture hold of the country.

Gold has been considered as a good investment thats the main reason in India they gave gold ornaments as a dowry to the bride which can be used if necessary for the family. Its also used to pass on the wealth from one generation to another.

Enough of Gold history. Let me get on the fact. Look at the chart below. Last year around the month of Jun, it started to slowly raise and hit a lower high and pulled back on Sep again to $650 range(Rs. 800/gram 22 carat). After that it never looked back and started to soar supported by subprime crises and later by weak economy.

Nobody really expected the yellow metal to claim this high close to $1000(Rs.1250/gram 22 carat) within just 8 months and its not looking to stop anywhere soon and aiming for higher highs every day. Its all because of the weakening dollar pushing the inflation and recession is on the brink.

Check out the 5 year chart below, it has come a long way from $300. If somebody would have invested in just 10 bullions for $3000, now its worth $10000. Just calculate the return which is 225%. Wow, who don't want to get that much return. You and me can't predict the economy that pushed GOLD this far. But you surely make a wise choice to buy it when its affordable and it will never let you down.

Short term Trader:

Gold has become an attractive commodity for the trader these days with market fluctuating so much dropping prices to more than $10 dollars a day. It is very good traders vehicle to put money for a short term and get a sweet lump of return in just few months. It really You can boldly make the decision to buy some gold as short term investment and reap the reward when it gets up to $1100 or $1200. But be cautions and brave enough to withstand some ups and downs on the way.

Check out my other Money related posts at Money really Matters

Recommedation:

Long term Investor

Don't buy now. What goes up faster is set to come down 2 fold faster. Gold will eventually come down to a price which is afforable to conservative consumers. It will sure to pullback to $700 - $800 range or much lower(Rs.800/gram 22 carat). That time, don't hesitate to catch the train. It will be a good investment for long time to come. The 20year chart below is the evidence.

(Chart courtesy: http://www.usagold.com/)

GANDHI AND LOCAL TV CHANNEL IN USA

I was peddling hard like every other day at gym around 6.45am trying to sweat out. Its my habit to watch news and get a glimpse of the happenings. As some of you might know(read my blogs), gym was my musing place to spark new topics to be pondered upon.

Today, it was an interesting one. While I was watching the Local new channel. There was a flash news running underneath and I happen to catch the part of it. "Gandhi who lead the non-violence movement to fight againt Britain was killed..." I was like, what in the world they are flashing this news now. I really couldn't get hold of the full flash news. From that time on, I was trying to put the pieces together to find the relavance of that news while working out. Finally I got the answer while was ending my work out in a silence mood. Its JAN 30. Yes, its Jan 30th. Whats the important? Its Gandhiji's rememberance day.

I know many of you are like me. We just run with the flow and even forget best friends birthdays. Why go that far? Even forget our own spouses birthdays. No wonder we forget about Jan 30. Life just gets its toll. I am with you folks. I am glad I saw the news and atleast thought about Gandhi for a bit and remembered him. Most surprising is that the news flashing in the local channel. I didn't see anything about it in CNN or Fox (big news channel). If it is not for the channel to flash it, I wouldn't have just not know about it.

Take away, its really encouraging to notice that Gandhiji fame has come a long way to be part of an American's life to remember his death. On the other hand, a Indian(many like me) forgettting Jan 30 and to be reminded. Is it a shame or just take thats the way life when you are immersed into own world.. I don't know..

-PEACE-