WOMEN & ADOLESCENCE, A TOUGH ACT TO PLAY
I been lingering on this topic since my recent visit to India and trying to decide on whether it's a right thing to talk about it or not. Today I felt a strong urge inside me that pushed to write this blog anyways. I know this topic fits under the gray zone not even ladies wanna to talk about it. Then, Why me you might ask?!
It a delicate headliner and I am going to try my best to touch this very carefully without hurting anybody and transform my message I want to relay.
During my visit, one of the home functions my wife and I happen to pay attendance was my wife's niece Puberty Celebration. I was little uncomfortable and even felt embarrassed to be in the crowd. On the other occasion, I also happen witness a big banner at an hotel entrance "PUBERTY FUNCTION FOR CHITRA" when we went to have our dinner one day.
Both might have been a coincidence but these situations really pushed me to an edge to think more broadly on this topic. I was so disappointed to see all these functions still happening wide open inspite of generation changes and more educated people. People still continue to follow old customs to announce the adolescences of women.
Mahakavi Bharathiar - Freedom fighter and great Tamil poet once said,
Maadavarai Perandedave madavam seithedal vendumadi thozhi
translation
"You should be blessed or received a boon to be born as a Women"
He says to be born as women is a Great thing and not everybody gets that boon. Its not same way many women think these days. They think its their ill-fate and previous Janma karma to be born as women and suffer in life by going through all kinds of pain.
When I was at the function, I saw the childish face with a cute smile on that young girl without proper understanding of situation and not really grasping the things happenings around her. She just like to be center of attraction. I was like, "Why in the world are we still doing these things?"
It was once a custom and tradition in old days to call relatives to announce one's daughter puberty and let them know about her readiness for marriage. Those days child marriages were common and I can imagine the need for these function when it was tough to find a groom or not easy to spread the word around.
But today at the Internet age, we still continue to witness these celebration for Puberty happening without even knowing the actual reasons. Isn't that true, we are the hinderance to the privacy of a women? Why can't we just leave them alone during this tough times? We talk about women freedom and their privacy from having separate seats in buses or 33% reservations but this trifle act isn't that exactly proves the opposite of it.
Don't you think we are inculcated by our older generation on this type of customs? Its some of the left overs from previous generations which I strong believe to be vacuumed at no time.
I can easily sense their trouble and pain because I was born with 2 younger sisters. I witnessed them go thru their tough times every month. Inspite of their pain, they were also considered untouchable for 3 days. There are lots of silly explanations for 3 day untouchability factor which totally doesn't make sense these days.But I was never affected personally or mentally until I got married.
Witnessing my wife's pain now and the before-after hormone changes, I am slowly starting to realize that it's actually tough to be a Women. It's inscrutable being a men and tough to imagine being in their shoes. That doesn't mean that we don't have anything to do about it. Their problems actually affects us through their signs of being nebulous(confused), disconsolate or petulant and totally freaking out certain times. They try to cover-up their inconceivable pain and unspeakable sorrow with thin layer of makeup and their sweet smiles.
For sure, nobody can never take away their pain. But we can always help by staying next them and sharing their work by lending a hand. As the below quotes says,
Be to her virtues very kind, Be to her faults a little blind - by Matthew Prior
I think we(men) can be sensible enough to treat them kind, act blind when needed and adore their presence around us. They are very special and nothing wrong in giving them a VIP treatment when time calls.
I totally salute their brevity to face the trouble and transcend themselves to be a strong person and transform into different roles like wife, mom, sisters to make a happy family. That certainly makes them a distinct being in this planet earth.
We are in the juncture that we just selected our first women president. Its also about time to throw away all old customs that threatens women privacy. Be prudent to treat them kind with dignity, they deserve.
Lets celebrate the women hood but not at the stake of their privacy.
